…tionship won’t work this time because femininity isn’t something that you can force out of a woman. It needs to be earned, nurtured, and more importantly given freely by her, on her terms. So maybe if you spent less time manipulating femininity out of black women, and more time investing…
I did a LOT of shouting and head-nodding while reading your article. This was excellent and this topic has long since been a thorn in my side.
This particular highlight really jumped out at me because it sums up the comments made by so many Black men about their own sisters. It's impossible for a woman to be vulnerable with a man that doesn't allow her to feel safe and protected. We are often viewed with such preconceived notions that it can hinder our ability to immediately be who we naturally are.
We were all born as beautiful and feminine goddesses; but as you stated, it needs to be earned and nurtured for us to share it freely. As a dark-skinned woman, this has been a particularly sore spot because the darker you are, the more aggressive and masculine you are seen by this society and Black men in general. I hope this topic will get more attention so that we can get to a place in the Black family where we all see ourselves and the divine beings we are without comparison to others. Thank you so much for writing this incredible article.