My position on whataboutisms is that there is just no place for them. I believe anytime anyone counteracts a person's account of their personal struggle with another topic, that immediately minimizes the subject and says that the person listening is somehow either trying to challenge the claim or diminish it by relating it to something else as if to say, "see, these people are going through this too, so why does your trauma matter so much if you aren't the only one experiencing it?"

What example of a whataboutism do you believe would be an appropriate one?