This gives the impression that the majority of Black mothers and daughters have tense, unpleasant interactions when it comes to caring for our hair which couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, our natural hair doesn't flow or grow from our scalps in a fine, flowing manner like White women’s hair, but our natural, kinky hair is a beautiful representation of who we are. As a Black mother, I can say without hesitation that we CELEBRATE this and honor our ancestors while doing so.
We don't like people touching our hair because it's DEHUMANIZING. Who wants anyone invading their personal space in that manner? This has zero to do with the process of combing hair and everything to do with our desire to be treated as HUMAN BEINGS. There is deep historical context behind our lack of desire to be touched by strangers on the street or co-workers in the workplace.
We use braiding our hair as a way to bond with each other, share stories, and connect as women, just as our ancestors did. The "pain, discomfort, tension, and mother-daughter conflicts" you speak of paint this beautiful experience in such a negative, typically demeaning light as is often the fact when any non-Black person attempts to discuss the experience of a Black woman. Does it hurt sometimes when combing our hair or our daughter's hair? Sure, just like a White woman gets tangles in her hair that she must comb out if she sleeps on it. But you don't hear anyone speaking of the mother-daughter experience of White women in a negative tone. This really has to stop, and particularly from White men, whether you have a Black wife or not.
I guess I can see what you tried to do here, but for me, it comes across as a White man trying to educate the masses on something he honestly will never understand, no matter his proximity to a Black woman. Every woman's journey is a personal one, depending on what style she chooses, and our hair can no more be lumped into a monolithic style article than the brilliance of who we are as women.
Our hair is not "fascinating" it is a part of who we are. These adjectives serve to further dehumanize us and put on display for those who don't understand to gawk at us. I'm glad your family has worked it out, but please don't profess to speak for all Black women and our hair journeys.
