This is one of the reason I chose to write books and speak about unconditional self-love. In our desire to be loved, we unfortunately have fallen into this trap laid for us that forces the belief that the men are the prize and we must contort ourselves into shapes and spaces where we were never meant to fit in order to "win" the man. But often times the men that we are seeking haven't done the mental work to be able to properly receive a woman and when the situation goes left, we are left as the ones carrying the blame.

Submission has always been a thorn in my side because of its misuse. What right does a man who hasn't even taken the time to get himself to his highest level of existence have to ask a woman to submit to his will? There's no will to acknowledge! This article expertly articulates this and I love your womanist voice. You write powerful articles that I believe should be a guide for women in the world navigating their position in relationships with Black men. Thank you for addressing this issue that definitely needs more attention and action.